There are so many times that something little will trigger a thought or memory of you!
I remember you......when I see someone who is still wearing the old 80's-style big-framed glasses - for I can still picture the blue ones you wore.
...when I am outside and I can smell the many blooming flowers - for I remember how you liked to plant and care for the different kind of flowers that were around our house.
...I look at my sister - for there are so many things about her that remind me about you: the darker skin that tans so easily in the summer, her brown hair, her ability to sing the melody of a song, her knowledge of the body and natural care that led her to become a nurse, etc.
...when I look at my wedding pictures - for I always pause when I see a picture of a specially placed and lit pillar candle.
...when I look at my teeth - for, even though you spent so much money for me to have braces, I still ended up throwing away my retainer, and now 1 tooth is slowly turning crooked just how I remember 1 of yours being.
...when we now get together for family gatherings - for, in spite of what you knew what God's timing and plan was for your life, you still thought try make a plan for Dad for when you wouldn't be around...so, now there's a whole new group of people in my life that I would have never before grown to know.
...when I sing certain songs - for sometimes I can't sing the words because I get a lump in my throat thinking about how you know what Heaven's actually like.
...when I laugh - for that's how I remember your laugh sounding like.
...when I help someone at work whose name is Linda - for that was your name, and it's not too common anymore.
...when I look at my husband - for I always wonder what you would have thought about him.
...when I'm driving, or home alone some nights - for I would love to be able to call you on the phone and just chat about our days.
...when I hear someone order bread-pudding for dessert - for you loved that stuff, and I still think its gross.
...when I'm out shopping and I hear a daughter arguing with her mother about what fashion style looks good on her - for I think of how lucky they are, and that the daughter should just listen to what her mothers says...she knows best.
...when I'm watching a movie or a show on tv, and a single tear falls from someones face - for I was told that you only shed a single tear before Jesus took you Home.
...when I see a pregnant woman, or a mother holding her newborn baby - for I wish you could be around for me when I become pregnant to share your pregnancy stories with me, to calm my fears about becoming a mother, and to eventually hold your grandchild.
...when I hear piano music - for you made me practice, and take lessons, and play in recitals & in the hospital, and to greatly appreciate the beauty in the ability. I promise to fulfill your wish someday whenever I can get a piano again!
...when I eat homemade blueberry muffins - for whenever you made them, they tasted so good!
...when I see the color navy blue - for I think that was your favorite color, at least in the clothes you wore, that's the color that looked best on you.
...when I'm looking though cards at the store - for, even though I have plenty of important people in my life that I'm picking the cards out for, I do find the special one I would have picked out if it was meant for you.
...when days like December 20, August 11, August 18, my birthday, Christmas, and Mothers Day come around each year - for those are the dates in my mind where memories of you come to mind more than they normally do.
It's been over 10 years, and even though it gets a little easier each year, it's still hard. I'd give about anything to be able to celebrate Mothers Day with you today - to give you a big hug and tell you how much I love and miss you. But...I do know that you're in the Best Place, and that someday I'll have an eternity to make up for the lost time. So, I'll keep living life here on earth so that I'll have stories and memories to share about when I get to Heaven. Keep peaking down on me every now and then - I cherish the times when I feel you watching!
Happy Mothers Day, Mom~
...when I am outside and I can smell the many blooming flowers - for I remember how you liked to plant and care for the different kind of flowers that were around our house.
...I look at my sister - for there are so many things about her that remind me about you: the darker skin that tans so easily in the summer, her brown hair, her ability to sing the melody of a song, her knowledge of the body and natural care that led her to become a nurse, etc.
...when I look at my wedding pictures - for I always pause when I see a picture of a specially placed and lit pillar candle.
...when I look at my teeth - for, even though you spent so much money for me to have braces, I still ended up throwing away my retainer, and now 1 tooth is slowly turning crooked just how I remember 1 of yours being.
...when we now get together for family gatherings - for, in spite of what you knew what God's timing and plan was for your life, you still thought try make a plan for Dad for when you wouldn't be around...so, now there's a whole new group of people in my life that I would have never before grown to know.
...when I sing certain songs - for sometimes I can't sing the words because I get a lump in my throat thinking about how you know what Heaven's actually like.
...when I laugh - for that's how I remember your laugh sounding like.
...when I help someone at work whose name is Linda - for that was your name, and it's not too common anymore.
...when I look at my husband - for I always wonder what you would have thought about him.
...when I'm driving, or home alone some nights - for I would love to be able to call you on the phone and just chat about our days.
...when I hear someone order bread-pudding for dessert - for you loved that stuff, and I still think its gross.
...when I'm out shopping and I hear a daughter arguing with her mother about what fashion style looks good on her - for I think of how lucky they are, and that the daughter should just listen to what her mothers says...she knows best.
...when I'm watching a movie or a show on tv, and a single tear falls from someones face - for I was told that you only shed a single tear before Jesus took you Home.
...when I see a pregnant woman, or a mother holding her newborn baby - for I wish you could be around for me when I become pregnant to share your pregnancy stories with me, to calm my fears about becoming a mother, and to eventually hold your grandchild.
...when I hear piano music - for you made me practice, and take lessons, and play in recitals & in the hospital, and to greatly appreciate the beauty in the ability. I promise to fulfill your wish someday whenever I can get a piano again!
...when I eat homemade blueberry muffins - for whenever you made them, they tasted so good!
...when I see the color navy blue - for I think that was your favorite color, at least in the clothes you wore, that's the color that looked best on you.
...when I'm looking though cards at the store - for, even though I have plenty of important people in my life that I'm picking the cards out for, I do find the special one I would have picked out if it was meant for you.
...when days like December 20, August 11, August 18, my birthday, Christmas, and Mothers Day come around each year - for those are the dates in my mind where memories of you come to mind more than they normally do.
It's been over 10 years, and even though it gets a little easier each year, it's still hard. I'd give about anything to be able to celebrate Mothers Day with you today - to give you a big hug and tell you how much I love and miss you. But...I do know that you're in the Best Place, and that someday I'll have an eternity to make up for the lost time. So, I'll keep living life here on earth so that I'll have stories and memories to share about when I get to Heaven. Keep peaking down on me every now and then - I cherish the times when I feel you watching!
Happy Mothers Day, Mom~
10 comments:
that was beautiful, lisa, i'm crying.
i have fond memories of your mom, too. thanks for reminding us of her today.
Thanks for this, Lisa. My favorite memory of your mom is seeing her every morning when I picked you up for school. She would stand by the kitchen window, smile, and wave good-bye every single day. (Can you believe that she trusted me to drive you to school???) :) I always think of her on August 18th too -- I'm glad my birthday is on one of her special days so that I can think of her every year. She would be SO proud of you! Love you!!!
Wow Lisa! That was really special! It was a joy and also sad to read all your thoughts~ but I love what you shared!! You blessed me with your awesome words!! Love you girl and I thought of you today too, and said a prayer!
Ruthanne
I'm crying too!!! I didn't realize how much Carla does look like your mom! What great memories! Your mom would be so proud!
This is so special Lisa, I am so glad that you have all of those memories to hold unto. One thing I remember of your mom is how much she wanted to be at my bridal shower and she was! She was a special woman and I am so honored to have known her!! Take care
o.k. lisa, you really should be a writer ! I am crying now and even though I never new your mom she must have been awesome because you have turned out to be such a beautiful Godly woman and I am sure she is watching from heaven saying thats my girl....so proud. love Aunt Joni
Lisa what a beautiful post. Amazing. Enough said.
Thanks for sharing your heart! I am sure your mom looks down on you with pride!
Your dad told me I should read this and I'm so glad that I did. It was beautiful! Your mom was a very special person and she always made me feel like I was special too. I think of her often and it was nice to be reminded of those special things about her. I love you Lisa, you've grown up into a very special woman. Your mom would be proud of both you and Carla! Love, Aunt Joy
Lisa - I just found out about your blog and your entry about your mom made me cry and smile all at the same time. Alan Jackson has a song out right now called Sissy's Song & when ever I hear it I think of your mom. Why she's in my thoughts so much lately I don't know - maybe because I'm the same age she was when she died, maybe because Sally Mudd and Jane VanOss (both school employees) are going through leukemia & it reminds me of Linda - I don't know but I miss her too. I wish I could go for lunch with her - that's something we never really did because I was working full time & she was busy with your family. Oh to go back & change things or just have that chance to be together again. I do know that she would love and approve of your choice in a husband. She would be very proud of all you have become! You are so right about Carla's similarity with your mom. Andrea will ask sometime what was Aunt Linda like and I just tell her to look at Carla K. I'm glad I found your post and thanks for sharing your heart - that is not a Gruppen trait - that must have come from the Kleinheksel gene :) Love, Aunt Carla
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